Well today started out kinda bumpy with a big disagreement with someone over txt message and they had the balls to say "your not a great mom if you gave Mia's little sister up." All i coould do was cry because one i was shocked and two i was mad beyond belief cause who in their right mind knows how she is gonna feel when i tell Mia one day and it's not like she is never gonna see her again it was an OPEN adoption foro that very reason and two it's none of anyones business on why i decided to make the "right" and hard decision to give up my kid in the first place. I man for people that know me know that me and Zoeys dad are in no contact and i do not want that for her. Also i do not have a job right now i am living off my income tax and what i have left over from my job before it closed business. Babies are not cheap and i wold want to give the best for her and the best was to find someone that is not struggling as hard as i am till i find a job to raise hr like their own and give her all her heart desires and that's what she iis gonna get. I am only 19 yrs old i know i could raise two kids if i wanted to, but i know emotionally i would be so depressed becaus i would have no time to do what i want to do in life and I can still do that with Mia. I am able to go out with friends every once in a great while and I am able to have a couple days ooff a week to just do things for myself like go eat or go get my nails done or soon i am going to go get a massage that i goot as a gift. I just feel like adoption was the right choice for me to go to college and get a career and give Mia and I a better life so I can tell Zoey one day i never stopped loving you and I will always be your mommy but i couldn't take care oof you at that time and that's why God blessed you with parents that love you as much as i do! Aftr all that went down i got to talk to one amazing guy friend that i have known for almost a year now from treatment and he understands me alot and he always knows when something is not right with me and he fixes it. He is the only one i know that will make me sit down and talk about stuff even if i refuse but finally i give in. He makes me feel important and he cares about me a lot caus he has known me long enough. I thank God every day for bringing him in my life cause i don't know what i would do with out him. Tonight my mom had her Body By Vi party and it was great information and i got to drink pretty yummy shake samples lol. well i am getting tired i stayed up to put away laundry and decided too write on here cause i missed yesterday well goodnight and God bless you!!!
p..s. i am a year and a week sober and pretty dang happy about it!!!
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